So, I belong to a great forum online - about books, and not just Twilight! I first joined nearly 4 years ago but that's kind of the time I became ill so I never really participated. Fast forward to February this year and I rejoin - I lurk a bit getting recs and enjoying reading people's reviews. I start to feel at home because it really is a lovely forum so I start posting, not a huge amount but enough to get me going.

I then have no computer access again until all my ISP probs got fixed and then I go back to posting. What I'm noticing now though is that I can post something, someone else will come along directly after me and post the same sort of thing and it's like my post never existed. At first I just thought I was being over-sensitive but it's with just about everything I post, for example there's a "What dvd did you last watch?" thread and somebody mentioned a film that I particularly like so I posted saying how good this film was - and about the last dvd I watched too - and was ignored but the person who posted after me writing almost the exact same thing got a longwinded reply. Not sure what's going on but it makes me so uncomfortable - I'm shy enough in real life and I don't really know any more than a handful of people who like to read the same sort of books as me or who can quote nearly the whole of the Twilight Saga! Lol!

I guess I'm just a bit baffled as to why this goes on - it's not like any of my posts are offensive, I don't think I've ever been rude or intentionally hurt anyone's feelings. Is it just because it's too cliquey? Who knows? I'll give it a bit longer to see if anything changes then I think I'll go back to being a lurker.

On the plus side I got my fabulous new hardcover editions of Pride & Prejudice and Wuthering Heights with the stunning fabric covers - talk about booklust. I've also ordered Emma in the same series and I'm wavering over Jane Eyre! I really need to stop buying books :-)

For once I've actually been fairly busy! Going out to lunch, hospital appointments, shopping and other really fascinating events have been taking up a lot of my time and that's said with only a very mild hint of sarcasm.....

I'm the now the owner of a very lovely new computer and we've switched ISP's too so *touch wood* everything is alright for now. I'm not holding my breath though as this is me we're talking about. Only one other snippet of news is that I've met someone, a very lovely guy but I'm not sure whether it's going to progress beyond friendship. Only time will tell I suppose but I'm being quietly optimistic :-)

A and B are sisters - only 2 years apart, fairly close, supportive, the usual.

B says 'Oh, we're going to Boston for a week, maybe take a side trip to Salem too'

A says 'Wow, that's great - you'll love it!'

B says 'I hope so! I know you've always wanted to go haven't you?'

A says 'Yep, since I was about 14 - don't know why but it's always been in my top 10 places to visit'

B says 'Well, while we're there is there anything you want? Shall we take some photos for you?'

A says 'Oh yes please! That would be fab :-)'

Except this conversation didn't happen, A is seriously pissed with B as B didn't even tell A she was going and left it to A & B's mother...

I'm so not in a good place just now - I got some news about my sister that I was expecting sooner or later and now that I've heard the news with confirmation it's hitting me in a way that I'm not really understanding. This is going to change our family in a big way, and not all necessarily good. Not looking forward to the fallout to be honest - makes me want to pack and move to a different country, actually, a different continent would be good!

My one vice that normally keeps me going in all this though is sadly letting me down. I no longer *heart* fan fiction :-( Seriously, apart from a handful of stories everything seems to be being written to either piss people off or to get a huge number of reviews whether they be positive/negative or to guarantee that people continue to read their work by spending the entire story (more often than not over 50 or 60 chapters) getting Bella & Edward together, only for them to split up or some other bombshell being announced in the last sentence and the writer squealing "Sequel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The only story I desperately want to read I can't because it's not available publicly and the other few are nearly complete. I think once they are I shall be finding alternative means of distracting myself. Although I'm strictly Team Edward in the books I have fallen madly in "crush" with Jackson Rathbone - think I need to wean myself off the whole Twilight universe!

Had fun this afternoon baking - we just pulled 30 gingerbread cookies out of the oven all shaped like teapots or little teacups! Just waiting for them to cool and then time to make frosting :-)

Oooh, and the best news - tomorrow I'm going computer shopping!

Nearly had to go offline again there - this heap-of-junk laptop and the useless router stopped communicating with each other and I've not been able to get anything to work for days! Gave in this morning and plugged into the router so I'm no longer wireless. Hopefully Thursday or Friday I'm off to a purveyor of pc's and will be buying something new & shiny to go along with a new ISP. I'm not even going to start on the problems I'm having with my current one except to say that they're crap!!!

Been watching lots of Comic Con online today - am loving all the tidbits about Tim Burton's Alice In Wonderland - this is top of my 'must see' list. All I need to do is persuade my bf to come with me and I'll be set, plenty of time to work on that though!

Okay, so I said I would be away four days and instead it's been, well, considerably longer! Not a huge surprise though, this is me we're talking about. The weekend away went well but as usual when the whole family spends more than a few hours together things got a bit fraught towards the end. One day, I'm hoping that my younger sister will actually remember that she is my younger sister and not vice versa. It drives me potty!

Taken a bit of time to reflect on things while I've been incommunicado and made a few decisions - have decided what I want to do with my future after I get through all the surgery that's heading my way soon and I'm definitely doing the whole 'let's travel across the US' thing for my big birthday in 3 years! It won't exactly be across the US, more like let's do a circular trip of most of the US but I can't wait! Just need to decide how long I want to be gone and exactly where I want to go. I have a rough plan - the only definites are a quick trip into Canada, Vancouver to be exact, to catch up with some of my mom's family, New York (because I'll probably fly in there from the UK) and San Diego (hopefully to catch up with a very old friend if I can manage to track her down beforehand)

Have started Operation Dejunk and it's going quite well - have made nearly £100 so far - and with the amount of rubbish I own I should have a small fortune amassed soon. Obviously, the only things I'm not selling are my books but I have joined a swap site to rotate some that I probably won't read again. Desparately short of room though and it's starting to resemble a bookshop!

I'll be internet-less for 4 days, however will I cope?!

Not going anywhere exciting, just to visit my sister but as she doesn't have wireless internet I'm not bothering to take my laptop. I'm going to be brave and have a few technology free days! No iPod, no internet, no DVD's, nothing.....

See you when I get back!

It's been two days since I last bought a book! And I'm wavering over 4 books I have in my basket at Amazon... I'm going away on Friday for 4 days so I know I shouldn't but I'm so tempted.

Uggghhhhhhhhhhh, to make matters worse it's such a miserable day, raining and cold. The past few days have been sunny and/or warm so I'm worrying over what clothes to take and I really don't want to have to pack a coat. Going to go read for a bit and deliberate over my oh-so-important decisions!

Finally got my copy of the Hummingbird Bakery cookbook and it's gorgeous. The photos are stunning and I can't wait to try out some of the recipes, thinking I might try Green Tea cupcakes or Raspberry Cheesecake Brownies first.

Still loving Marina & The Diamonds, also on my playlist just now - 100 Monkeys, Pepper Rabbit, The Twilight Sad, Lisa Hannigan and Frightened Rabbit.

Whatever was wrong with my computer seems to be working again *touch wood* I have my music back - happy, happy, happy! Signed up on Twitter last night, OMG what a waste of time! I'm hooked...

If you listen to one track today make it I Am Not A Robot by Marina & The Diamonds, simply brilliant!

It's now been 6 months since I made my trek across country and I'm slowly getting used to living by the sea again. I still don't have all my belongings back but I'm gradually replacing my books and cd's - costing me a small fortune but never mind! - and I have savings! For the first time in 8 years I have money in my savings account and I'm loving it. Looks like the BIG 4-0 trip is going to be a blast at this rate!

Will hopefully be posting regularly now - have had a few glitches and stuff but fingers crossed it's fixed.

I've moved 300 miles, lost half of my belongings, discovered the man I thought I was in love with was not who I thought he was and had to give up my fur babies. But..... I'm happy. For the first time in a long time and I am loving being on my own - listening to my choice of music and watching my choice of movie! Guess at heart I'm a selfish creature.

I'm not so happy with FanFiction - still my ongoing obsession! - it's been down for days now. No alerts and apparently a couple of my favorite stories have had chapters pulled. I've been trying to keep up on Twilighted with what's going on but those gals type way too fast for me. So glad that I haven't got around to starting loading my writing on there yet, it's driving me nuts as a reader!

My excitement turned out to be premature - instead of winging my way across the Atlantic to New York so my girls & I could see Twilight at least 5 times in 3 days I got to sit in our local hospital as my STBX disappeared and his grandfather collapsed so I had to deal with everything. Now, I'll be waiting for December 19th again......

Just seen the crowds outside at Leicester Square for the premier tonight on tv - I'm not at all envious that my sister just sent me a text message saying she and some friends from work decided to go check the crowds out! I shall be sitting in my music room tonight consoling myself with the Twilight soundtrack and re-reading the books.

This time next week I'll be watching Twilight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm a tad excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not green with envy that Twilight opens in the US in just over 7 hours and here in the UK we still have to wait another bloody month.....

Looks like I won't be going anywhere until after Christmas now - this whole thing is turning into a nightmare! Packing is not going well!

STBX's grandfather has been diagnosed with diabetes and he has to go into hospital next week for tests to determine if he also has cancer - of course, himself has decided to bury his head in the sand so I've been left to deal with everything.....

I had completely forgotten how much work moving involved - I think this is the longest I've stayed in one place since I was 17. I spent last night making lists of everything I have to do and now I'm worried I won't have enough time. Oh well, at least by moving I gain the benefits of having somebody as Twilight-obsessed as I am which means someone to go see the movie with! Yay!

Made an extremely hard decision yesterday but ultimately it means I get to be me again! Updates will be sporadic for a while longer as this choice means me moving across the country. Any ideas on how to pack up 6000 books in less than a week?

Looks like Twilight is out on December 19th - now I just need to work on The Boy and get him to take me!

The new FOB cd has been put back by nearly 6 weeks - wtf!!! Let's hope Robin Hood season 2 doesn't get put back yet again otherwise I won't be a happy bunny. We've started working on the plan for a certain someone's 40th birthday - it's going to mean a lot of scrimping, no new books and no new cd's - but hopefully we'll be hitting the West coast en masse sometime in 2010!

Forgot all about blogging for a while - been caught up in my writing again, getting engrossed in a huge stack of new books (including the sexiest vampire ever to grace the written page that's not Edward Cullen) and listening to cd's on my new multi-cd player.

All is right with the world again - Grey's Anatomy season 4 is finally running - even if it is only 10 episodes, boo! - and both Fringe & Sanctuary are weird enough for me to annoy my beloved by being an avid viewer. I figure if I'm the one paying for satellite tv I should get to watch what I like.

Nagging question of the day - why can't I find a UK release date for Twilight???